MUSINGS OF AN MVP

Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash Its salient and sudden. My chest is tightening. I am puffing and panting as my heart beat quickens. I'm fidgety. I don't know if I want to turn off the lights or keep them on. I go to the bathroom then pace around my room. Nothing changes. My breathing gets heavier. I don't know if I want to scream or be silent. I don't know if I want silence or music. It's happening again, I know I have to write. That helps sometimes. A little whisper tells me to write something here, I haven't in a while anyway. Maybe someone out there needs to read this. Maybe I just need to write it. Describing it hurts, its making me feel worse somehow. I want to cry and I don't even know why. This sucks. It was my birthday last Thursday, I should still be celebrating. Why won't this stop? I thought I was doing better. I've lived with this monkey on my back for a long time, I know exactly what's happening. The cause could be one or m