MUSINGS OF AN MVP

Emotions finally ascribed on paper That I said I would reveal later Perhaps in person or in a letter Or when I decided I feel better After learning that love was no trick It can crumble walls brick by brick Your muscular frame has an affectionate hold And each day in it I grew a little less cold At first I failed to see What was right in front of me This love was only physical This was just your ritual You chased many and many of us had not run Instead we were hypnotized like you are Venus’ son Angry and unimpressed my friends witness More and more of my identity crumble to weakness Falling once more into your strong arms All my hopes cleverly disguised in your charms Patiently I wait for you to become different Convinced your true feelings would soon be evident I sacrificed all my prayers for you And did everything you asked me to What have you done for me lately? x

Just as last week was coming to a close, I got a surprising and exciting phone call that made me do a three minute happy dance in my room. Several months ago I entered a poem entitled "Open Secret," which is about sexuality and the taboo that surrounds discussing it in our Malawian/African context to a Poetry and Short Story Competition hosted by Makewana's Daughters and they called to inform me that I had won 2nd place in the Poetry category!  Their website has some great content from women  and it was inspiring to read such intimate and vivid work as I reviewed my own trying to figure out what I was going to submit. I spent days going over my poems, editing and shortlisting options. I usually enjoy that part of the process though it comes with stress. The stress of having to pick the "right" or "perfect" poem. The stress of seeing unfinished poems, one liners and cheesy poems that should never see the light of day. The stress of realizing that I don

My heart is a great blank acrylic canvas Cold and cream Rough around the seams Yet tender to touch Then I saw you approach   With your mahogany brush Oh you visual delight come and paint me Just don’t hate me when you know me Paint me your blues I am sad like you boo Paint out for me the abscess in your heart made by an absent father Paint me your red when you rage set ablaze your emotions Show me your blood as it boils looking at my body Our passion is wine and I am drunk in love Oh you visual delight come and paint me Just don’t hate me when you know me Paint me your golden eye I want to absorb your wise ways My loyalty to your royalty has never been replaced You stimulate my strength Paint me your greens that you love spending Yet hate to pay the price Eat or inhale our veg delight We must have our daily intake This is no mistake Oh you visual delight come and paint me Just don’t hate me when you know me Paint me pink as

2019 is almost over yet it feels like it just started a few weeks ago. Whether the world is speeding towards an official end or time is just moving as it always has, here we are officially ending the 2010s and into vision 2020. I can honestly say that I have enjoyed each and every year of my life up until this point, through all the unbelievable peaks and heart breaking valleys. I turned 25 a few months ago and went through a mini "quarter life" crisis. Well not necessarily a crisis, I spent a beautiful week at a quiet beach lodge near a little village in Salima alone talking with God, writing and reflecting on what has happened in my life so far and where I want to go. A lot of the conversations that I started at the lake are still ongoing and I hope they continue for the rest of my life. One thing that I learned from that birthday pilgrimage was that I have had so many dreams and ambitions since I was a child. Some of these have been attained, some seem unattainable beca