"WISDOM FOR MY DAUGHTER" PART 2


Hello there! 

Last week, I shared some wise words from my Mum that she wrote for me a few birthdays ago. If you haven't read them yet, you can check it out here

I had a quite a productive and busy week to say the least. We started our second semester on Monday (hooray?) and I have been writing as well as painting whenever I can. I look forward to weekends now which is a nice change of pace when every day almost feels the same. I didn't get to finish all my goals but I am happy for the opportunity to rest and start fresh next week.

Reading these words again has encouraged me as I worked, I hope they do the same for you. Shout out to my mama!

1. 
 WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON’T GET WHAT YOU WANT?

You prayed, you worked hard, you did everything possible but you don’t get the job. Or the opportunity. Or whatever it is. Don’t stay down there. You are allowed to mourn for a bit, but what you are not allowed is to make that define who you are. Get up, sasa and move on! There are always new opportunities, and sometimes they are windows and not doors, so stop looking for the double garage doors, rather find a window or an entryway and use that to go into the future.

AND WHEN YOU SIN?

We don’t always live up to our expectations of ourselves. I should know, I am a very good example of this. Despite good intentions, words and deeds sometimes let us down, and sometimes we make the choices that disappoint ourselves and others. When that happens, do not allow yourself to lose your connection with God. Talk to Him in humility and repentance. He forgives and removes all our sins, no matter what they are as we are taught in 1 John 1:9. Whatever the case, don’t ever allow yourself to be deceived that we are separated from God. It isn’t true. And forgive yourself. It has happened, it hurts and maybe it messed you up. Do not look down on yourself because of a mistake that you have made

Scripture: Romans 8:38-39

8. 

FINANCIAL PLAN

I am the first to say that I have not been a good example when it comes to personal financial management especially living hand to mouth and paycheck by paycheck. Yes times are hard but I could have done better. I now have a savings plan slowly, slowly picking up. My advice – start saving every month the moment you start working. It doesn’t matter how little or how much. Financial experts say you need to have at least six months salary put away so that if your organization pulls an Enron, you can survive. So save. Save. Avoid debt. Live within your means. Tithe. Give. Then you will be able to get flashy things like cars and houses by the age of 40 and get me that little red car you promised me throughout your tweenies!

9.


CREATIVITY

I remember how we had a book of your poems done and bound and how you had so many ideas about getting it published. Do that! You are one of the most subtly hard hitting poets that I know and I am very proud that you are flying away with this poetry thing. You are an artist. And your hairstyle is a work of art. Don’t ever give up on your creativity and artistic pursuits no matter what is going on around you because in art is when we express ourselves into who we really are. Art also touches and ministers to the soul in a way that only an artist can understand. So develop those abilities, explore how far they stretch and go with them even if they take you to the ends of the earth (I promise I will miss you most abjectly and will walk around like a forlorn puppy) but do it! Your creativity is the best part of who you are. And the best is when your poetry is your bread maker!

10. 

BOYS AND MEN I

Trust God in your relationship. Pray about it, pray for him, and pray through it. Then you will survive. Relationships need so much wisdom and discernment because a girl needs to spare herself from Bozo and go for Boaz. Some Bozos don’t even care there is Boaz and some Boazes stay away because Bozo is so much around J. Stay with your Boaz. And be sure that he is indeed Boaz!

bozo[boh-zoh] noun, plural bozos. Slang.

1.     a rude, obnoxious, or annoying person:

2.     somebody who does something unwise: an offensive term for somebody who says or does something unwise

3.     a fellow; guy; a jerk, fool, etc

 

Boaz (/ˈb.æz/;)  (Biblical figure)

Boaz was a wealthy landowner of Bethlehem, and kinsman of Elimelech, Naomi's late husband. He noticed Ruth, the widowed Moabite daughter-in-law of Naomi, a relative of his gleaning grain in his fields. He soon learns of the difficult circumstances her family is in and Ruth's loyalty to Naomi. In response, Boaz invites her to eat with him and his workers, as well as deliberately leaving grain for her to claim while keeping a protective eye on her. Boaz fulfilled the promises he had given to Ruth, and when his kinsman would not marry her because he did not know the halakah which decreed that Moabite women were not excluded from the Israelite community, Boaz himself married her. Boaz was an honorable man who did what was right by Ruth.

11.

BOYS AND MEN II

 

No one should have freely that which should be reserved for those most intimate, and for marriage. Things like certain hugs and kisses should not be freely distributed, and as I grow older, I understand this with regret. And in our over sexualized world, sometimes allowing people to see more than they should diminishes us as women somehow. We become Bozoettes! J (yeah I am making up words as well). No man is entitled to any part of you and if a man lays a hand on you, walk away. No man owns you, you are the master of your body. In marriage, one gives to the other and vice versa.

Don’t stay with someone because of what they can do for you, rather, let it be about how you feel about each other and let it be a conscious decision to love them. And take the time to communicate – despite the silent treatment for thousands of years, no man has yet successfully deciphered what is going on in his woman’s head!

12. 

EMPLOYMENT AND CAREER

I like that you have already started thinking about where you want to specialize once you start working and the kind of work that you want to be doing. That is very encouraging and also that you want to look for opportunities to study and grow in your field and your career. It is not just your CV that will carry you but also your work ethics and integrity while in the workplace. And that means keeping time, being open and transparent, dealing with people in a fair manner and without favoritism or allowing your personal feelings interfere in whatever decision you make, especially if you are the  boss and of course working hard and fulfilling your obligations even if the situation or conditions are tough! If the opportunity presents itself VOLUNTEER! Not only is it a CV builder, but you always, without a fail, learn something. Go to study further early, before mavuto and even before banja and ana interfere with your quest to grow. You will rise faster in your profession if you get better qualifications and who doesn’t want more money? Do the work that you are supposed to because you choose to stay in that job. Always keep your CV up to date and once in a while apply for jobs and be interviewed so that you can know what else is out there.


The Bozo vs Boaz wisdom still makes me laugh, I love my witty mama. Here are some one liners she added for the road:

  • Pray and read scripture every day. You will not regret it, ever.
  • Don’t let anyone stop you from doing what is right.
  • Give when you can. A blessing waits for you down the road.
  • Be the best you can be.
  • Think independently, be independent. Don’t follow the crowd or even your closest friend if deep down you know they are wrong.
  • Be polite. Say please, say thank you, say sorry, keep time, keep your manners.
  • Always look out for opportunities to grow
  • Read!
  • Do whatever you can and must for those that are closest to you so that when they are not around, you never have reason to regret anything.

Thank you for reading.

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