MUSINGS OF AN MVP

The End of an Era The last few weeks of this year are special. It's not only the beginning of a new year, it is also the beginning of a new decade. On social media, the feelings about 2019  range from nostalgia to hope and anxiety. One popular challenge going around is people posting photos of themselves at the beginning of the decade and now, which are pure and hilarious. Instead of a picture (I will not display my Form 4 tomboy gawkishness for all the world to see); I want to share the ten things I have learnt about life over the last ten years that have helped me grow as I reflect on the year ahead. 1. "Life is meant to be enjoyed not endured." My mum often dropped this little gem in my late teens, and it has helped me find the bright moments. We only have one life and it's important to do and see as much as we can. Taking walks, spending time with family and friends, making crafts and so on are little things that give life meaning. Travel is also in my t

She is a Black queen Her brown skin came from the earth Every scarlet dawn she returns to the earth And with the orange dusk she returns home Toiling and tilling in the hot, lazy yellow sun To grow yellow mealies for her little kiddies They return home every day with some new shade of dirt They are also returning to earth Perhaps the young ones know when life is grey too Her big heart is full of gold Which she gives away freely They all take a little piece The hulk black man she calls a husband expects a colorful meal every day Expects her to be ready for him every night Unconcerned with cousin Red, he will not wait for her to leave All he wants is the warm pink that welcomes him The color purple seems to be hers now Beautiful chocolate skin shaded with baggy violet glasses She says sleep is for the virgin girls and deflowered girls Roaming the streets in their rainbow outfits partying endlessly Returning home at midnight blue Clear and brown liquor steadily

WARNING: DEEP AND HEAVY CONTENT BELOW! I am no expert at this life thing, though I believe my experiences so far have given me insight into some issues that are part of our shared human experience. One thing that I have observed is that we all talk to each other, but there are a lot of deep and meaningful topics that we do not talk about. I recently started watching TED talks on their website ( https://www.ted.com/ ) and on their YouTube channel to expand my knowledge and learn from different people. There are so many fascinating, smart and educated people from all over the world speaking about different topics or their personal lives and work in educative, brief, creative and honest ways which expanded my mind and empathy. Hiding behind busyness and procrastination, I could not write for this blog the last few weeks until finally the inspiration bug bit and I took a page from the TED talks and got personal about my life and hope that what I say is sincere as it is informative.

Kingdom of eSwatini flag Travel is more than a hobby or a luxury for me, it is a fully emotional and sensory experience that brings me a lot of peace and joy. The thought of going to a new destination, whether it is by foot, road, train or plane to observe and take part in the life there excites me and the tiny adult living inside in me lights up if some of these travels are professional trips. Earlier this year, I had the privilege of getting one such a gig in the beautiful Kingdom of eSwatini, or for the uncultured, the country  formerly known as  Swaziland. For three and a half months I got to work at the best festival on the continent,  MTN Bushfire  as an Artist Liaison Assistant HOD for the 13th edition of the festival. Thinking about that time makes me feel delirious and proud. It was the most rewarding, stressful, enjoyable, challenging, and exciting period of my adult life so far. I got to work with some really inspiring, smart, lively and colorful group of people and

Emotions finally ascribed on paper That I said I would reveal later Perhaps in person or in a letter Or when I decided I feel better After learning that love was no trick It can crumble walls brick by brick Your muscular frame has an affectionate hold And each day in it I grew a little less cold At first I failed to see What was right in front of me This love was only physical This was just your ritual You chased many and many of us had not run Instead we were hypnotized like you are Venus’ son Angry and unimpressed my friends witness More and more of my identity crumble to weakness Falling once more into your strong arms All my hopes cleverly disguised in your charms Patiently I wait for you to become different Convinced your true feelings would soon be evident I sacrificed all my prayers for you And did everything you asked me to What have you done for me lately? x

Just as last week was coming to a close, I got a surprising and exciting phone call that made me do a three minute happy dance in my room. Several months ago I entered a poem entitled "Open Secret," which is about sexuality and the taboo that surrounds discussing it in our Malawian/African context to a Poetry and Short Story Competition hosted by Makewana's Daughters and they called to inform me that I had won 2nd place in the Poetry category!  Their website has some great content from women  and it was inspiring to read such intimate and vivid work as I reviewed my own trying to figure out what I was going to submit. I spent days going over my poems, editing and shortlisting options. I usually enjoy that part of the process though it comes with stress. The stress of having to pick the "right" or "perfect" poem. The stress of seeing unfinished poems, one liners and cheesy poems that should never see the light of day. The stress of realizing that I don

My heart is a great blank acrylic canvas Cold and cream Rough around the seams Yet tender to touch Then I saw you approach   With your mahogany brush Oh you visual delight come and paint me Just don’t hate me when you know me Paint me your blues I am sad like you boo Paint out for me the abscess in your heart made by an absent father Paint me your red when you rage set ablaze your emotions Show me your blood as it boils looking at my body Our passion is wine and I am drunk in love Oh you visual delight come and paint me Just don’t hate me when you know me Paint me your golden eye I want to absorb your wise ways My loyalty to your royalty has never been replaced You stimulate my strength Paint me your greens that you love spending Yet hate to pay the price Eat or inhale our veg delight We must have our daily intake This is no mistake Oh you visual delight come and paint me Just don’t hate me when you know me Paint me pink as

2019 is almost over yet it feels like it just started a few weeks ago. Whether the world is speeding towards an official end or time is just moving as it always has, here we are officially ending the 2010s and into vision 2020. I can honestly say that I have enjoyed each and every year of my life up until this point, through all the unbelievable peaks and heart breaking valleys. I turned 25 a few months ago and went through a mini "quarter life" crisis. Well not necessarily a crisis, I spent a beautiful week at a quiet beach lodge near a little village in Salima alone talking with God, writing and reflecting on what has happened in my life so far and where I want to go. A lot of the conversations that I started at the lake are still ongoing and I hope they continue for the rest of my life. One thing that I learned from that birthday pilgrimage was that I have had so many dreams and ambitions since I was a child. Some of these have been attained, some seem unattainable beca